First semester is winding down and it is very hard to come to the realization that I am a soon to be St. Michael's graduate... if all works out. I hate thinking about it but at the same time it is sinking in more and more each day as my senioritis becomes more and more apparent.
I am currently sitting in the library, reading and critiquing the school newspaper, The Defender while I am supposed to be studying for my chemistry exam (lab science requirement...obviously waited until my senior year). Obviously, I am trying to multitask on Facebook while reading a newspaper... unnecessary. It is so interesting to see how people from my hometown in Massachusetts are doing after high school. Some are in college, some are married, some have children and some have gone off the deep end but will hopefully get on the right track in time. As much as people say things are not going to change at home while you're away, I can't help but disagree. We all grow up significantly from ages 18 to 22. In college, we are explosed to problems and people from all different backgrounds that change the way we view the world. At home or anywhere for that matter, young women are starting families at the ripe age of 18 and caring for a child of their very own. I give a lot of credit to those women.
I feel like people my age are in rush to start a life and this isn't only the case at home. Though, the unexpected, such as a pregnancy, can also be the best thing that ever happened to a person. I'm just not there yet. At school, there is constant worry amongst seniors about getting hired for a job after school. I know I should be thinking about my future and I am but I'm still exploring while I can and not developing a plan. Plans change and in my case, quite often. I have had two internships and plan on doing a third one next semester. Learning about different workplaces has been a great way to figure out what I want and don't want to do in the future. My dad called me the other day and said, "You want to find a job that doesn't make you feel like you are working, but enjoying what you are doing and you have time". My dad has struggled with finding a job since he was laid off in 2008 after working 15 years at the same company. I have never seen anyone work as hard as my dad has. He studies for hours, relearning information about networking, servers and firewalls so that he can find a job that best fits what he is interested in and confident that he can do. After multiple let-downs and some temporary positions, my dad continues to search for stable enployment three years later and continues to stay positive above everything. He is a firm believer in the idea that everything works out overtime, as am I. Despite obstacles, he has been able to overcome struggles and keep pushing himself to become a more experienced candidate for the jobs he is looking for. My family reminds ourselves all the time that this will pass, things will work out and that we are fortunate to have what we have earned and what has been given to us. Things could be worse and are for many people. Things could be much worse.
So, as second semester inches closer, I feel slightly at ease with my situation and know what I need to work on. I am a broke college student, thousands of dollars in debt...but living in the prime time of my life. Debt can be paid overtime and student loans can be deferred (for a little while at least). Babies can wait until my thirties and marriage, well we'll see. I am only focusing on one thing as a time because that is all I need to do right now. I wouldn't take back my college experience for anything. It has really been the best three and a half years of my life and things will hopefully only get better from her... and maybe a bit more serious. I don't know if I should refer to this time as "the prime of my life" but I am in my twenties and this time should be cherished, so yeah, I stick by my first statement. The economy is crumbling and the political structure in our country is going haywire but I'm alive, recieving a college education, happy and especially thankful for what I have been able to do, people I have been able to meet and experiences I have been able to have. I cannot get caught up and distracted by other's ideas and opinions about the future of my generation.
Clearly, I don't have "a plan". I have never really had "a plan" for my life. I haven't been dreaming about my wedding since I was twelve or anxiously waiting for the chance to experience motherhood. Everyone is different. I don't want to lay out a life for myself that could change in the blink of an eye. My mind is always changing and spontaneity is so thrilling. I just want to dive into any possible opportunity in front of me and see what happens, that could be a job, the chance to travel to a developing country or living in Burlington, Vt for the summer after college. You never how you are going to feel about something unless you try it, come on now. It's easy to say but to actually make it happen is a different story. If I can support myself financially, manage my money and have a roof over my head, I can figure things out from there. I strongly believe that. Managing my money responsibly is definitely something I need to work on but I am aware of that...
So, I do have a lot of be thankful for this Thanksgiving and I will keep reminding myself that things will work out even if I have my doubts.
I created two films for my digital film class at St. Mikes. Check them out.
This one is about four friends of mine and their love for extreme mountain biking. We were required to capture the passion behind a hobby or collection. This computer isn't letting me insert a hyperlink so copy and paste the link if you'd like to watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJa2IU_xidk
This is the first film I created for my digital film class. We were only able to use still photos and had to capture the true essense of a person or place. I chose to create a film about a lifesize painting my friend, Chris was working on for his senior seminar project and making it come to life with the help of my friend, Jeff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=HqcFtRQd0gQ
Thanks for reading.
:)
